- Gay Guys: All the hot guys are straight
- Straight Guys: All the hot girls are lesbian
- Lesbians: All the hot girls are straight
- Straight Girls: All the hot guys are gay
- Bisexual Guys: All the guys are taken, all the girls are whores
- Bisexual Girls: All the guys are whores, all the girls are taken
- Pansexuals: All you mothafuckas look alike.
- Asexuals: The internet is really really great
- Jack Harkness: So how about Saturday?
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